Seinfeld Script Dialog Lines

Conjunctives:
  • 'AND' is the default behavior. "smart pretty" is the same as "smart AND pretty."
  • 'OR' allows more results in your query: "smart OR pretty."
Operators:
  • Negation: '-'. The user query "smart pretty -judgmental" parses to "smart AND pretty AND NOT judgmental"
  • Sub-query : '()', Allows grouping of terms . The user query "-crazy (smart AND pretty)" parses to "NOT crazy AND (smart AND pretty)".
  • Wildcard: '*', fuzzy matches. "butt*" matches butt, buttery, buttered etc.
  • Character wildcard: '_', matches one character. "boo_" matches boot, book, bool, boon, etc.
  • Full match: '=', field match. Entire fields must be equal to the term. "=georgia" only matches where one or more fields is exactly equal to the search term. The search term will NOT be bracketed with %, but wildcards can still be used.
  • Phrase: double quotes. '"Super fun"' searches for the full phrase, space include. Wild cards, negation and exact match operators all work within the phrase.
  • Phrase, no wildcards: single quotes. The term will not be evaluated for * or _, but will be wrapped in wildcards. If a % or _ is in the term, it will be escaped. 'P%on*' becomes '%P%on*%'.
Showing 1-20 of 54,616 items.
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Do you know what this is all about? Do you know, why were here? To be out, this is out...and out is one of the single most enjoyable experiences of life. People...did you ever hear people talking about We should go out? This is what theyre talking about...this whole thing, were all out now, no one is home. Not one person here is home, were all out! There are people tryin to find us, they dont know where we are. (on an imaginary phone) Did you ring?, I cant find him. Where did he go? He didnt tell me where he was going. He must have gone out. You wanna go out you get ready, you pick out the clothes, right? You take the shower, you get all ready, get the cash, get your friends, the car, the spot, the reservation...Then youre standing around, whatta you do? You go We gotta be getting back. Once youre out, you wanna get back! You wanna go to sleep, you wanna get up, you wanna go out again tomorrow, right? Where ever you are in life, its my feeling, youve gotta go.
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
(pointing at Georges shirt) See, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot. The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt, look at it. Its too high! Its in no-mans-land. You look like you live with your mother.
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Are you through?
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
You do of course try on, when you buy?
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Yes, it was purple, I liked it, I dont actually recall considering the buttons.
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Oh, you dont recall?
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
(on an imaginary microphone) Uh, no, not at this time.
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Well, senator, Id just like to know, what you knew and when you knew it.
CLAIRE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Mr. Seinfeld. Mr. Costanza.
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Are, are you sure this is decaf? Wheres the orange indicator?
CLAIRE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Its missing, I have to do it in my head decaf left, regular right, decaf left, regular right...its very challenging work.
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Can you relax, its a cup of coffee. Claire is a professional waitress.
CLAIRE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Trust me George. No one has any interest in seeing you on caffeine.
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
How come youre not doin the second show tomorrow?
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Well, theres this uh, woman might be comin in.
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Wait a second, wait a second, what coming in, what woman is coming in?
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
I told you about Laura, the girl I met in Michigan?
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
No, you didnt!
JERRY
S01E01 May 31, 1990
I thought I told you about it, yes, she teaches political science? I met her the night I did the show in Lansing...
GEORGE
S01E01 May 31, 1990
Ha.